Reply to Ex wife still has feelings for my hubby

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[quote=Anonymous]Background: My husband and I have been married for 10 years (together for 12), and have 2 kids. We met when they were going through a divorce (about a month before it was finalized. They married young, had a kid right away but she reportedly was still in love with her ex so she left my husband to get back with her ex. When we first met interactions between my husband and her was brief in driveway to hand over their child. From time to time I helped in dropping and picking up my step daughter. During these interactions she seemed friendly towards me. It almost seemed as if she was happy that my husband (then boyfriend) was moving on, as she was happily back together her boyfriend. Since my husband and I have been together he has completely changed his life. He went from working as a casher to finishing completing grad school and having a steady career. His ex on the other hand is a stay at home mom to 2 other kids and is married to her third husband.

Over the last  year, I have noticed my husband's ex trying to be more friendly toward my hubby which in itself is not a bad thing, but lately she also seems a bit cold towards me. For example drop off of their child no longer happens in the driveway and is no longer minimal pleasantry exchanges, there are conversations that last 30 - 45 minutes. I am left feeling awkward during these conversations because whenever I say something she quickly change the subject, does not look at me and directly talks to my husband like I am not there. Mind you these are not childcare related topics. I have told my husband that I will stay away when they do drop of/pick up but lately the drop-off/pick up have been at our house. I try to stay upstairs while they talk downstairs, but the ex is very annoyingly loud. I find it to be so annoying that I can't even avoid her in my own house. She had also asked my husband to do some outings with my step daughter so that my step daughter can have outings with both parents there. My husband turned that down quickly. Also the Facebook likes for anything my husband post is in overdrive. If this wasn't enough, she recently told my husband that wasn't over him. She told him she was going to ask him to get back together with her, the day we got engaged but decided not to when she saw the engagement post.  In the same conversation that she told my husband she was not over him, she also told him that she was separated from her third husband. I struggle thinking about what her motive for telling him was after so many year. She claimed to have wanted to respect the fact that he was engaged but now he is married with kids and its several years later.  I am not a jealous kind of person but it bothers me to hear this. I told my husband that I really don't want her in our house. He thinks I am over reacting a bit. He wants to give her the benefit of a doubt because she says she wants to live her true authentic life. He tells me he hated her for the longest time but now wants to be a peace for the sake of their child.[/quote]

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