Reply to Prostate Surgery Relationship Impact

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am so sorry for what you and your husband are going through. My DH had his postate removed about a year ago. We are mid 50’s. It’s been very difficult adjusting to the new normal. DH has an Rx, not viagra but similar. He doesn’t like it - for a variety of reasons. We do it anyway because he needs it, he needs to have sex. But it’s not  the same, I don’t think he is satisfied and it breaks my heart. Of course I am not happy about  that part of my life being over … but mostly I am concerned about him.  He says he doesn’t feel like a man anymore.  Is it possible that your DH feels this way and phe is coping by showing no interest in sex? 
For me, I would be happy to just feel connected to him in some way. I miss our sex life terribly but like you said there  is nothing I can do. I wish I had better news  OP. 
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Op here. Yes he definitely feels that way which is one reason he went to a therapist. You’re right, it is heartbreaking to see.

A friend said what someone did above: “you’re still young, you shouldn’t be resigned to a life like that” but if the shoe were on the other foot and I dealt with cancer, experiences major changes in how my body functions, and felt like I lost part of my identity..  and on top of that, my spouse leaves, I think I would have a hard time recovering.

If it really makes him feel bad and he has literally zero desire to do anything, I don’t want him to feel forced or pressured because then I won’t be happy or be able to enjoy it either, you know?

Sigh.

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