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[quote=Anonymous]My 97 year old grandfather went into hospice about 2 weeks ago and died last Friday. He'd been in relatively good health and lived in his own home until he entered hospice. He was deeply religious and said many times that he felt like he'd lived his life and welcomed going to Heaven. While our family isn't religious, it gave us great comfort that he believed so strongly and was at peace with being at the end of his life. His viewing was yesterday and his funeral was supposed to be today. My mother and her 3 siblings asked me to write and deliver a eulogy for my grandfather, like I'd done for my grandmother when she died 20 years ago.

My 82 year old FIL, who was suffering with mild to moderate Parkinson's had gotten a bad case of COVID just before New Year's Day and was admitted to the hospital. From there, he went to rehab to regain strength and balance. Against medical advice, he kept getting out of bed (he desperately wanted to still be independent, so I felt for him being relegated to having to ask for help to even walk to the bathroom) and ended up falling and hitting his head in the bathroom. Shortly after falling, he went into cardiac arrest and unexpectantly died on Sunday, two days after my grandfather. My MIL very kindly planned FIL's funeral for next Tuesday so it wouldn't interfere with my grandfather's funeral.

Fast-forward to this morning when the family decided, (wisely, I think), to postpone the funeral due to the weather. Everyone is local (within an hour), but the funeral was to be in the morning when the roads still weren't good and it was still snowing. I have 3 young adult sons (27, 23, and 20) who were close to their great-grandfather. We vacationed with him and his wife and my parents every year when my kids were younger and we all saw him often. A few months ago, at a family gathering (we host all the birthdays and holidays), my grandfather asked me to take a photo of him with my sons so they wouldn't forget him, as if that would ever happen!

My 23 year-old told me that my mother texted him that my grandfather's funeral was rescheduled to next Tuesday, the same day and at an overlapping time as my FIL's. It didn't have to be that day or time, so I just don't understand and am so sad about it, especially since my MIL was gracious enough to schedule my FIL's service so we wouldn't have to "choose" one or the other. My mother told me that my grandfather (he was her father) would want me to go to my FiL's funeral, which feels manipulative to me. I know my grandfather knew I loved him and wouldn't be mad at me for going my FIL's funeral; but we wanted to be part of the family grieving and memorial rituals and to share the eulogy I wrote for him. She doesn't understand at all why we're upset. The whole situation just sucks.

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