Reply to How do I even deal with this?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So 2 or 3 times a year you have to deal with your DH's imbecile behavior. How long do these tantrums/silent treatments last - a week or so?

Otherwise you say things with him are good.

In the grand scheme of things, you are talking about 3 weeks or so per year of crappy, immature behavior that he has no intention of changing.

It is what it is.

You can destroy your kids' family over this, if you feel it's worth it.  I wouldn't.

I would just tell him that next time he wants to pull a tantrum/silent treatment on me, I will be finding a hotel room to stay in for the next week. Then do it. (Have a bag in the closet all ready to go.)

He can do all childcare, etc. during that time. Tell him it will give him good training for what 50/50 custody is like, because if he continues with this sh!tty behavior a legal separation/divorce will be the next step.
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You are saying that if the OP of this post divorces her husband then she would be destroying her children’s family.

Yet you are then suggesting that OP should pack a suitcase & leave her husband/children for a wk and stay in a hotel??!

Hypocrite.[/quote]

I don’t know, once my husband knew that I really might leave him over an issue he realized how serious it was and stopped. Later on another issue that we had had before got worse, and we were to the point in our marriage where divorce was just untenable due to kids’ ages and their mental health. I didn’t tell him I’d divorce him but I did say that if he kept doing it, our marriage would be irreparably harmed and I was not going to have a close relationship with him. I followed through by refusing to talk to him about things beyond the bare minimum (he really likes to chat with me), refusing to spend time with him, etc. I don’t think this was the silent treatment because I explained to him how his actions impacted me and what I was going to do to mitigate the harm of those actions. He thought for a while that it was punishment/manipulation but after some individual therapy he finally realized it was just the consequence of him being a jerk to me.

So it wasn’t a threat of divorce, it seeing that his behavior was causing him to lose the benefits of the relationship that got him to change. But maybe that’s sort of a similar mental process. [/quote]

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