Reply to DS14 said something very rude and ungrateful during the holidays and I still don’t know if we handle it well

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Reply to "DS14 said something very rude and ungrateful during the holidays and I still don’t know if we handle it well "

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[quote=Anonymous]DS14 (overall) is a good kid.  He’s motivated at school, in sports and at home.  We don’t have major issues with bad attitudes or laziness.  He’s fairly responsible for a teenage boy and we really only have to interfere seldomly.

My in-laws are divorced and we usually spend Christmas with my FIL in late December.  He (FIL) is a good man.  He’s not the super affectionate type but he loves our kids.  He is genuinely interested in who they are as people and has always spoken to them like they were unique individuals.

For all three of our kids he has a college savings fund he started for them when they were babies.  At 14 DS already has enough money in his college savings to attend any university he desired and was able to get into.  He’s been told about this account for years and know it’s a privilege many kids do not get.  Because my FIL ours so much $$$$ into the account every year he doesn’t do Christmas or birthday gifts.  Just a card.

This has never been anything my kids ever brought up until DS decided to make an incredibly rude (and out of character) remark in front of his Grandfather when given the card.

He kind of was grumpy the entire day due to staying up the night before.  He wasn’t thrilled about going to visit FIl but didn’t protest too much.

We had a good time and after eating FIL handed all of our kids their Christmas card and DS goes, “let me guess, another empty card.”

DH immediately snapped at him and told him that was rude.  Then I explained how grateful he’ll be when he is able to graduate college without student loan debt.

DS responded, “oh yeah, so grateful for a gift I didn’t ever ask for.”

DH got angry and asked him to step outside.  I apologies to FIL who was put off by the comment.  DH had discussion about gratefulness and then we decided to ground him from one of his big gifts (gaming computer) for this month in hopes the absence of the gift would teach him a lesson but I’m not sure it is.  He apologized to his Grandfather but I don’t think he understands how rude the comment was or how big of a deal it is his grandfather does this for him.

I know he’s only 14 but his siblings are younger and we’re very genuinely outwardly grateful.  I feel like they didn’t have any expectations for gifts even if they also don’t fully understand the gravity of this account.

Any ideas on what would be an appropriate consequence?  How to get the lesson through his head?  [/quote]

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