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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We make a considerable amount of effort to maintain healthy friendships by hosting sleepovers, inviting DD‘s friends to go places with us, planning fun outings like seeing a play or attending a carnival that we invite them to, etc…over the years there’s no reciprocation from these families other than being invited to the girls’ birthday parties. My daughter is never invited to their homes, never invited for impromptu let’s go to the movies/mall/ice-skating the way we do for all her friends. I’ve accepted this as other people don’t have the time or will to include our daughter in their family activities the way we like to do for our children’s friends. Fine. 
My question is do we continue to do it knowing very well it will never be reciprocated or now that she is in middle school and makes plans on her own over text, should it all come to a screeching halt?  I definitely feel it would negatively impact my daughter for sure but it would also allow her to become aware we have been doing all the heavy lifting to maintain her friendships all these years while her friends’ parents have done next to nothing. I feel like there’s a window here where we just stop and [b]see if other people pick up the slack. I’m just worried they won’t[/b] and it’s my daughter who gets hurt in the end. The other girls would also miss our hosting.
Thanks for your thoughts/feedback.[/quote]

You have to assume they won't. They never have, so why would they start? Do these things if you and your kid want to and see value in them. Otherwise, stop. Also, maybe stop patting yourself on the back for "doing the heavy lifting to maintain these friendships." Friendships don't actually need all of this to be maintained. It's great that you've done it (assuming you wanted to), but friendships should be based on the kids enjoying one another's company. You sound like you think all this extra stuff is required or no one would be friends with your kid (that's not a healthy friendship and hopefully not the case). You sound really, really involved here, more than just providing rides and money. Maybe back off a bit and see what happens. Any decision you make need not be permanent, just see how things go.[/quote]

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