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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We only hear some parts from from one party and without knowing both versions and more detail, its not fair to come to conclusions. However, that's the nature of these forums and reason crowdsourcing can't fix poster's problems. They sure get different perspectives, anecdotes and resources to help them figure it out themselves.

As far as home chores, parenting issues, mental load and all, our system is flawed, unless there is one SAHP or full time hired help, two career families are set up for turbulence and failure.

We need a more supportive and flexible system where employers aren't overwhelming employees and providing medical, maternal, paternal, caregiver leaves to make it possible for people to balance personal and professional lives. More than 70% of marital problems are related to lack of time, resources and patience which leads to resentment, anxiety, anger etc.[/quote]

Or people need to change their standards. Don't tell me you haven't time to over decorate your house with the latest holiday (my fav is non Irish overdoing shamrocks); having the house spotless; home cooked meals etc. If you want all that and he or she doesn't care then don't complain the other adult isn't helping.

I see these videos of moms on the TikTok about how they clean after dinner or clean the bathroom every day, etc and I can't believe anyone (SAHM or not) has the time or need to do that. But they can do them and over clean and spend their time scrubbing a clean floor vs. reading or watching tv with their families.

My sister has to do a full court press meal every night. Her husband doesn't care. He cleans up after but he's not helping her with chopping and shopping for it. I don't see a problem with that. But he also doesn't demand or expect her too and would probably prefer she cuts back a bit and they can just order pizza (he btw can order pizza, I've seen him do it).[/quote]

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