Reply to The Introvert’s Disadvantage

Forum Index » College and University Discussion

Reply to "The Introvert’s Disadvantage "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a father of fraternal twin boys who are seniors, applying to college. They are very different — one is extroverted, open and outgoing; the other is introverted, quieter, private. How does this manifest in applying to college? The extrovert has some leadership positions; his brother, less so. It’s a struggle to try to paint him as a leader when he’s not one but [b]all the colleges seem to want leadership[/b]. But the main thing is that people — teachers, coaches, counselors — know my extroverted son well and write glowing recommendation letters. My introverted son is harder to get to know and I suspect his letters are less inspiring. [b]I think that’s a huge disadvantage applying to college[/b]. Those recommendation letters are a way for admissions officers to get to know the applicant. Without that, it’s much harder to get a true, unbiased sense of a kid. I know that, sure, the introvert should work on establishing a few relationships with teachers that can come through for him. But that’s much harder for him. Why am I writing this? Because it pains me that introverted kids have a harder time — at least that’s what I suspect — [b]even though they are just as smart and have other gifts. The colleges don’t seem to recognize that. This is the way of the world, I suppose.[/b]

BTW, the extrovert was admitted to his ED school, a top ten SLAC; his brother didn’t get in ED but has been accepted at some good schools so far. Both will do well. [/quote]

Yes, it’s very true, and very unfair.

A kid who’s extroverted and popular enough to be in student government, sports team captain, whatever other ECs, is not necessarily a better student than the kid who’s introverted and made it through High School with crushing anxiety.

Like, obviously there’s merit to being a well-liked overachiever. But it’s pretty ridiculous how now it seems like a prerequisite. Plenty of kids who would thrive in elite colleges who for whatever reason in High School weren’t social butterflies.

I agree wholeheartedly OP, and I honestly think it’s even more slanted against introverts in multiple other ways not explicitly as obvious as the lack of teachers knowing your kid well enough to write glowing recommendations.

[/quote]

I agree there is a bias in our school application system and also for certain business and management job search processes.  I think American culture values the appearance of extroversion.

I have an older kid who is friendly, calm, reasonably popular.  I call him "electable".  And he has two EC leadership roles.  The second is funny, edgy, clever beyond the usual, a bit too sassy, and critical of others.  Both are equally smart but I don't see the younger getting leadership roles because he is not "electable".

For the younger, I think it will be best to focus on pointy intellectual interests, fit to major, and better SAT math scores.  I would like it if he had leadership roles, but it will be what it will be.  He will likely have the same state flagship safety schools as his big brother and we are comfortable with those already.  I have no idea what leaps he will make in the next two years but we are more than willing to help if he needs parental support.

I am concerned about letters of recommendation for the younger.  It's possible his might come from EC sponsors or maybe a math teacher.

With respect to leadership, there is also sometimes some wiggle room to define leadership in terms of something other than an elected role.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics