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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you have ease of bowel movement then you can never understand the stress of it not happen easily. As you get older, the body just doesn't work as well. So the concern about making it work well becomes the obsession in a way that work or kids or social life or whatever was an obsession in younger life.

Walk in my shoes before casting stones and throwing things around like: Oh, he is obsessed with something I am not obsessed with so he must have dementia.

And no, I am not elderly.[/quote]

And you don't understand the pattern of anxiety and obsession that precedes a dementia diagnosis. This isn't about the constipation. It's about the fixation on one issue (whatever it is) and the inability to cope emotionally.

And don't tell us we don't know about constipation! Really, you seem weirdly insulted by this conversation when you shouldn't be.
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Yes, I'm bothered by this conversation (and so many others here) because younger people are obsessed with diagnosing their parents with dementia. Their lives frequently cause anxiety. It is hard to age. It is hard to figure out how to manage getting old. But anxiety and dementia are not always the same. I don't disagree that it can be related. But the absolute pronouncement of dementia, yes, insults me.

I have been through this with a father in law, a father and a mother, in that order. It isn't always dementia. And many elderly end up dying early because the assumption is: Dementia! So let's just farm them off to a nursing home. When, frequently it is the nursing home care, or lack thereof, that kills them. [/quote]

Dementia, like ADHD and autism, is a constellation of diseases that we know much better these days than previously. So instead of complaining that it's over-diagnosed, you have to understand it used to be under-diagnosed! Just like ADHD and autism. Research makes progress on mental health, albeit much slower than for physical illness.

The MAJORITY of elderly people in this country will end up with dementia at some point. That's just the reality of old age, and medical progress that allows us to identify cases. And when a patient cannot be safely cared for at home, well then, what would you do, PP?

We are not young people. We are middle aged, since our parents are old enough to show signs of dementia. Some of us are highly educated, intelligent people. I'm a research scientist and my husband is a doctor. DCUM in general skews wealthy and educated.

You seem to be confusing a casual conversation that is meant to direct OP to the right doctors, with a formal medical pronouncement. Only a practicing doctor can diagnose dementia. Are you saying there are fake diagnoses?

Your post reeks of ignorance, prejudice, and much insecurity. If you're worried about getting carted off to a home, well, make provisions for yourself while you still can. This is what my MIL did. She hired a rotating cast of aides to cook, clean, give her meds and massages, and help her get about, and stipulated that her money be used for home care until she died. Her kids do exactly that.

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I responded to the other poster. And no, this isn't me with no experience here. It is having been through it with three elderly relatives.

I do wholeheartedly agree that people would do well to hire all necessary people to help them at the end rather than depend on their kids. We are doing just that.[/quote]

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