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[quote=Anonymous]I got very invested in my sister's kids when they were grade school and high school ages. I was thoughtful and generous and when they were little they were very enthusiastic about auntie's visits - but as they got older it became clear that while they were perfectly happy to take material gifts/support from me, or be taken places by me, they had no interest in maintaining anything like a close relationship - and no, there were no thoughtful cards or gifts in return. I didn't really want or need material gifts from them anyway, but it was the total lack of thinking of me that finally made me realize the relationships were always going to be one-way streets and in recent years I have just dropped the rope altogether. I can't say I see this behavior as normal, except as normal in people who are very self-centered. From the time I was a little kid I was thoughtful and loving to my aunties and grandmas, my parents and siblings - I would frequently spend my babysitting and paper route money on little gifts for them rather than on myself. During college I was incredibly busy and didn't maintain the relationships as much as I should have - but if I'd lived in a time of cell phones and free communication, I absolutely would have, for me the obstacle was the high cost of long distance calls. I should have sent cards or letters much more often and I regret that I didn't. I think some people are more generous of spirit and others are not. Sounds like your nieces and nephews fall into the latter category, as did mine. I'm lucky that I now share a house with my childhood best friend and her daughter who is 14 is really quite thoughtful and generous of spirit with me, although in recent years it has diminished but the same is true of her attention to her parents and I have no doubt she will cycle back out of that as she gets a little older. She doesn't visit me on my floor as much as she used to - she's too busy playing games online with friends and spends much more time in her room than she did when she was younger. But for Xmas this year she got me a beautiful little book about mushrooms because she noticed me posting mycology photos on Facebook a lot this past year as I've developed an interest in that field. I was so incredibly touched that she paid attention and thought of me like that, and honestly she has always done so - usually it's little gifts with a focus on dogs because I'm a huge dog person. I'm grateful to have such a sweet kid in my life and I focus on that now and not on the nieces and nephews who never reach out at all. I'm sure if I win the lottery they will be calling me every day so at that point I'll change my number. ;)[/quote]
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