Reply to 8 year old decided she likes dad more than me

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[quote=Anonymous]So, I'm the primary parent, but DH is involved maybe 30% of the time. We both work FT but his job is more intense. I am point person for our toddler, so he is more with the 8 year old when he's parenting.

I feel like I don't get enough time with my older one - whenever I'm parenting, I have them both, and obviously the toddler needs a lot of attention. I do try to occasionally take just the older one out, but it's hard, because DH doesn't really like the toddler age.

My kid, however, has been more and more focused on her dad. She looks a lot like him, so she says they are twins. If we're watching a movie or out to eat, she and her sister fight over who gets to sit next to him. If we are playing a game, they fight over who is on his team. They want him to take them to school and pick them up. When I was going to buy family pajamas, the older one said she only wanted her and her dad to match, and the toddler and I should have a different design. The toddler cried and also wanted to match dad.

I think generally the toddler is just copying her older sister (she copies her in everything) - otherwise she seems equally attached to us both. But the older one truly prefers DH.

I did go on a mother-daughter vacation with my older girl, and right after she said "When do I get to go just with dad?" So, we planned a father-daughter trip, they just got back and she's asking when she gets to go again. I said we'd probably go just the two of us next (whenever the next trip is), and she got upset.

Today she sat there for half an hour making an elaborate card and gift for her dad and nothing for me.

DH and I have tried to tell her it's not nice or fair to do this - just like she gets upset if she feels that we are favoring her little sister. But she disregards it totally. I do feel hurt and unloved, honestly, because  8 is such a magical age, and I want to enjoy it with her. I am kind of resentful at my DH that he refuses to do more with the toddler - maybe if I had spent more time with her over the past couple of years, she would love me. But at this point, even if he offers to watch the toddler, she doesn't want to be with me.

Any advice? [/quote]

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