Reply to S/O How to know someone’s serious vs love bombing?

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Reply to "S/O How to know someone’s serious vs love bombing?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Disagree w all of the above. W lovebombing, they will stun you with words of affirmation, or gifts, or affection, or whatever their/your love language is. Once you are “hooked,” the true elements of their personality & agenda start to creep out, usually at the 4-6 month mark, and it can look very different. But you are confused by the cognitive dissonance, bc you are already hooked by their prior conduct. With actual seriousness, it doesn’t end, they are who they say they are, do what they say, act how they profess to feel, and are consistent over time even as you get to know each other more deeply.[/quote]

This is a good description, as a NP who experienced it with, yes, my current DH. I don't know if my DH necessarily planned it or if it just worked out conveniently for him, but the 4-6 month mark coincided with a big shift in his job/travel responsibilities. This masked a lot of what was going on. I did feel the cognitive dissonance but dismissed it.

If you're dating and someone has a big shift in their lifestyle, even if they're not the one driving it, pause! Give yourself more time to see who they really are and don't fall back on "they're just busy with work and it will be different when this client engagement ends" or whatever. BTDT.[/quote]

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