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[quote=Anonymous]Spouse and I have a 2 month old son - You might ask why I had a child with this person knowing what I knew when we met. He is a local musician (has a FT job). He switched bands when I was roughly 4-5 months pregnant. Told me it would be a “calm” band as we had a child on the way. Now when I bring that up it’s, “it be came bigger than I thought it would - they’re a local cover band). Well they played last minute shows the week of all summer, 3 shows a month and practiced 2-3 times a week despite me voicing I needed him home more and support during my pregnancy as I sat home while we played those shows and got drunk. Fast forward, I voiced my concerns multiple times and he finally agreed to 1 per month show and 1 per week practice after the baby came. I was in labor at his show in October. We had a 3 week old for his show in November, I had PPD and he wouldn’t let me leave the house to enjoy a drink with my friends even though he got to do his thing on Thanksgiving Eve, the show night and one of the biggest party nights of year. Lied about a bar he went to after his show (actually didn’t even tell me I found out days later) and lied about drinking and driving. December comes, his son (newborn still), myself and himself are sick with Covid. He plays the show because he tested negative and left me home to be with sick baby, baby was still testing positive but I wasn’t. Well I went out with my cousin the next night (NYE) because he had his show NYEE on Saturday the night before, also one of the biggest party nights of the year. He blew up my phone, texted me for hours. Needless to say I didn’t enjoy my time. I do not do that to him. When he’s done I let him do his thing expecting the same in return. He is running his mouth about me to his family saying I’m trying to make him quit his band when that isn’t the case he’s just mad because he wants to play more. He has gone against his word for once per month shows and already has multiple months of 2+ shows per month for 2024 despite me going back to work and sacrificing my schedule (working weekends and evenings now instead of days because we can’t afford childcare). And I will still get a hard time when I try to do things for myself or leave the house for dinner with friends he tells me it’s not the same as him because he’s making money (maybe $150 a show) and playing drums not just “getting drunk and being a whore”.  I have never cheated on him. He leaves the house the day of his show wayyyyy before he needs to. It’s all he talks about when it’s just me and him on the off days. He hasn’t planned any special date nights or things to do as a couple just us. I’m expected to come to his show and get a babysitter for our son and that’s our “date.” I’m just really having a hard time and don’t know what to do. On top of it, I bought a house in May and it’s in my name. Any advice please?[/quote]

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