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[quote=Anonymous]TLDR: history of emotional abuse, feel vulnerable, want to reach out to very likely BPD ex but know I need to comfort myself instead—any advice?

Okay this is quite embarrassing but here goes:

I am almost two years out of a long-term emotionally abusive marriage that really took a toll on me in every area of life. I continue to work hard in therapy on recovering from this as well as emotional abuse from childhood.

I have dated a little since the divorce was final but really mostly casually.

Most recently I had a short and intense relationship with a man I suspect may have Borderline Personality Disorder. Yes I saw the red flags but I wanted to believe I had met someone nice who would be nice to me. Anyway I stayed too long but did end it and of course he flipped on me and become very nasty and hurtful.

I have him blocked because he was harrassing me by text (and even when I first blocked somehow messages and calls still came through!).

I’m in a vulnerable spot and don’t see my therapist for another two weeks (she’s costly so I have to space sessions). I’ve been tempted to reach out to the guy because I’m so hurt and angry. My logical brain knows how stupid this is but my emotional brain can’t think straight.

My wounded inner child is crying out for attention and validation. The closest I’ve gotten to feeling cared for is through dating and sex. I know it’s a weakness for em. I’ve been journaling a lot and meditating but don’t know how else to reparent myself and comfort myself.

Thank you for any insight!
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