Reply to DH adult child of alcoholic/addict

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you really need to be in individual therapy. Not sharing about abusive, alcoholic parent is a major betrayal/trauma, but also not that surprising for a adult kids of addicts.  Al-anon can be helpful, but there is an antipathy in the Alcoholics Anonymous community to use of psychiatric meds, which is unfortunate because many people with serious substance abuse issues need medicine to help them quit or need medicine to help an underlying diagnosis that is driven by mental illness. For example, my MIL's alcoholism was driven by her undiagnosed bipolar depression. She was using alcohol to self-medicate in the absence of appropriate medical treatment.

One of the things I noticed when I was living with my now Ex DH in the environment of his mom's alcoholism is that ACOA have been taught by their upbringing to be comfortable creating their own life "for show".   As long as things look good on the outside - nice wife, stable marriage, nice kids, etc. - they don't care about the reality underneath.

Again, you will need A long term relationship with your own therapist to navigate this - to be educated about the impact of parental alcoholism on the family system, how to communicate effectively, how to set appropriate boundaries, etc. [/quote]

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