Reply to DH has not initiated sex in over a year

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I read the Sex Starved Wife by Michelle Weiner. It hasn't helped as we are separated and not close to working on that aspect of our marriage right now, but it helped me feel not so alone. Not all men want sex want their wives unfortunately, and the answer is not always that they are gay, having an affair, or have a physical problem. My husband is none of those things. I think there's a percentage of men with intimacy issues who find it easier to masterbate/look at porn than maintain an initimate relationship. Sex is boring after 15 years together unless you are close, still in love, still willing to be vulnerable with each other.

It's not rocket science and it actually makes a lot of sense.  I had so much resentment and felt so not close with him that I didn't really want sex either. Somehow when a man goes through this he has to be gay. Um no, he just doesn't want sex with me right now. Thinks of me as a "great mom" but not much else (and I haven't let myself go physically AT ALL). The book addresses all of this. We are doing better and I hope this time next year we are living together and having sex again. We've made some progress in therapy.

And if he still doesn't want me after that, there are men out there who won't just see me as a "great mom" and who will want me. [b]I'm still hot![/b] I love my husband, but this is a really rough time and I'm not willing to settle for this for the rest of my life.

OP, get counseling, either for yourself or him, and read up on this. You are not the only one. [/quote]

As a man, I wish women would stop this "am I still hot or not" dialogue.  My current flame wears glasses, does not go to a gym five times a week, and uses very little makeup, yet I think she is great and really do not care that other people I have dated would be considered technically better looking.  Most men feel the same way that I do and the ones who don't are probably not men you want to meet.[/quote]

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