Reply to DH interested in nightly sex -- am I being unreasonable?

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[quote=Anonymous]It's not right for him to make you feel like you did something wrong or neglectful when you needed to sleep in order to feel rested.  He needs to communicate in a more open and not passive-aggressive manner, and he needs to understand that you have needs, too.  The next time he mentions his "needs," mention your own needs -- to get sleep so that you can take care of the children, work, manage household chores, etc.

Sex should be something that you both enjoy.  It sounds like he is complaining on the one hand that you don't want to do it every night and then complaining on the other that you don't enjoy it when you agree to have sex every night but are exhausted.  I think you should explain to him that you enjoying having sex when you are rested and able to focus on it.  When you're exhausted, it's not possible to enjoy it.  Perhaps you can give an estimated number of times per week that you think would be possible for you to enjoy having sex -- maybe 4-5 times, with other nights dedicated to resting up?

Is it possible that he's frustrated with not knowing ahead of time whether he can expect sex or not?  Maybe there's a way to communicate earlier in the evening about your stress and exhaustion level.  If he can anticipate that you aren't going to be up for sex, maybe he can accept that without having expectations.

Honestly, even before we had kids, we didn't have sex anywhere NEAR every day of the week -- usually 1-2 times a week.[/quote]

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