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[quote=Anonymous]Another day another thread.  If you’ve been following my saga my mom is the current hot mess of the board (she fell, broken pelvis, a host of other issues).  She made it to rehab yesterday but I had to hire a sitter 24/7 for the first week or until she can get strong enough to not get hurt if she gets up unassisted.  Getting old and infirm is incredibly expensive, highly not recommended, one star.

Since this is now my third rodeo I’m trying to stay three steps ahead if I can.  On the off chance she can recover and make it out of rehab I now have to make some tough choices.  She lives in “assisted living”- quotes because even though her place is beautiful and costs a ton each month it really is sub-par when it comes to assisting the residents.  I had been starting to tour memory care places but frankly it’s like zombieland in those places and, while my mom is getting there, she’s not quite there yet.

Of course she wants to go home eventually- she loves her apartment and is familiar with the facility and how they operate.  And she knows the people and the routine so it’s comforting.  Dementia patients are incredibly anxious about change.  But I fear that if she returns there she’s going to need an aide ($$$$) and she’s still going to end up in memory care eventually, probably sooner than later.  It’s not about the money, she has the money and I’d spend every penny of it on her if I had to, but it seems like it may not be worth the expense to keep her there for just a little longer, and then ultimately have to move her when she’s (more) aware a move is happening.

So I’m considering just moving her to memory care while she’s in rehab and just telling her it’s the next step toward going home.  Hospital to rehab to the next rehab (memory care).  And eventually if she remembers to ask about her old place maybe tell her she’s not ready to return yet?  The only issue would be explaining why her belonging were there but I could come up with a white lie I guess.  She probably would notice, dementia is a weird beast.

It’s such a tough decision during a time where there have had to be many tough decisions.  I hate lying to her and I’m not sure how much she retains or remembers or understands.  I’m just trying to navigate this horrible road.

Any suggestions?  I think I know the answer but I do appreciate other insight and sometimes I just need to write things down to see what I need to do.  Thanks again for any and all responses.[/quote]

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