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Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities
Reply to "Can you help me understand my child’s emotional outbursts?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This sounds like my anxiety/ADHD child. IMO, the ADHD presents in this situation as being unable to move on (redirect attention) from something that is somewhat irritating and ruminating on it makes it seem like a much bigger issue. And the anxiety is at play in the over developed sense of justice and always looking for a way they are excluded or slighted in some way. Meds and parent training were a huge help. And therapy for our kiddo, but parent training honestly was more helpful. Also learn about validation. Validating your child’s feelings - not that their interpretation of the situation is valid, but how they feel about it is. “I can see how hard it is to feel left out when dad and sister go ice skating. It must be tough to watch them get ready and go off without you.” No rationalizing “but remember dad took you to the park yesterday” or fixing it “you and I can bake together.” This was a huge change in parenting style for me, but my DC really responds to it.[/quote] +1. Our child was similar. We were surprised by the ADHD diagnosis as we thought ADHD presented differently (we just didn't know what we didn't know) but parent training and meds really help. I wouldn't go the therapy for the kid route at 8 years old but YMMV. In the meantime, check out parent training sites. ADHD Dude works for us but we have a boy and the ADHD Dude somehow knows exactly how we parent and it's freaky.[/quote] I've never paid for anything from ADHD Dude, but his free stuff works just great. On another note, I have to say that [b]I found the empathizing and constant emotional validation just fed the beast of resentment and obsessing over perceived slights. I would say "That must be hard for you," ONCE and nothing else. And then I would disengage, not try to fix, not dismiss, but just let her sit with it.[/b] Fundamentally, that's the only thing that will make it ok. She has to learn that it's part of life and that's it an OK part of life. I read the Explosive Child and tried to follow it for a few years and all I got was an angry dysregulated kid who was being catered to way too much. It's an extremely easy trap to fall into. ADHD Dude pulled me out of that trap and things are a lot better now. 10=rough times 13=much better in school and at home (showing actual self-esteem) [/quote] This.[/quote]
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