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[quote=Anonymous]
Absence makes the heart grow fonder 
AND
Familiarity breeds contempt.

The caregiving children are generally the most obedient, compliant ones and as a result, leave themselves open to all sorts of hectoring and criticism from their parents that the non-caregiving children, the ones with a more independent streak, would never tolerate. The parents feel they can abuse the caregiving, helpful ones, and they feel they have to ingratiate themselves with their more independent kids to receive help from them.

My husband is the golden child who lives abroad, far away from his family. My MIL worships him. She complains about her two other sons to him. Mind you, one of those two used to live with her and help her day in, day out, with her meds, and help her on walks, manage her appointments and therapy, etc... and that is exactly the one who gets criticized the most!

I've seen it in my own family too, OP. The one who is closest, most dutiful and submissive gets the bad rap (my aunts), and the one who swoops in to visit every few years is welcomed home like the prodigal son (my father).

So.

If they want to live near you, or with you, DO NOT LET THAT HAPPEN. On the contrary, please do your utmost to disengage and let your parent live close to the golden child. Let's see how they get on... :-)

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