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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Where does she live?  She needs to be in a memory care/nursing home situation.  This is beyond your ability.  I posted this in your other thread.

Also if you have kids, do you want this life for them?  I don't think your mom would want this for you.[/quote]

She’s in assisted living but I’ve been touring memory care places (and her current assisted living has a memory care floor).  Now I think I may need to add nursing home to my agenda.

This is definitely not the life she wants and I don’t want it for her, that’s why it’s so hard.  She definitely doesn’t want this life for me and has verbalized such when she’s able, but there really is no other choice for her. As for myself she doesn’t have anyone else so either I advocate for her or she’s out there on her own.  I feel like the last 1.5 years has been crisis, followed by management of the crisis, rinse and repeat.

One of my close friends pointed out that every time I see her is going to be the best she is, as the next time she’s going to be a little worse.  I know she can’t decline like this forever, now her body is starting to give out in addition to her brain.

I have no intention of trying to prolong her life, I just want her to be comfortable and as happy as she is capable of at this point.  I’m even thinking that with all of her ailments hospice may be an option, if nothing else for the support they offer.

I need to write a “what to expect when you have an elderly dementia relative” book.  I have read Being Mortal and it’s a great book.[/quote]

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