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[quote=Anonymous]Agree that many people don’t know what to say, so they say nothing. They aren’t sure what you (the patient) might feel up to or comfortable with, so you often end up excluded. I don’t think it’s malicious in any way—just discomfort, some of which is probably justified.

One of the loneliest things about serious illness is suddenly realizing how little you have in common any more with people who are healthy. They’re planning for things like vacations, college, retirement, home renovations, etc. while you’re worrying whether insurance will cover your next surgery, feeling guilty for buying clothes you may not be around to wear, and wondering if you’ll ever see your kids graduate or be healthy enough to travel again.

When I was going through cancer treatment, a part of me just wanted to be treated normally, and enjoy a few hours when I might be able to forget about being sick. But that can be difficult for everyone involved. If my cancer ever comes back, I probably would handle things differently and tell no one outside the immediate family for as long as possible. I’d also make more of an effort to seek out support groups to ensure a group of people I could talk with about subjects my old friends couldn’t relate to.[/quote]

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