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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel similar way. DH and DS has autism. DD is uncertain. I just take DS and DD out doing things I want them to do, like classes, party, festival, hiking and etc. It is easy for me to make DS to go than DH to go. Many have told me DS does not look like autistic because he is happy, interactive and social, and I think that is due to I have been taking them out to explore and meet other people since they were little. I am lonely and exhausted with FT job. I know if I don't do all these, DH will not do them. DH often says it is all my fault, and that is so untrue. I need my FT job pay to buy and afford for things that I want my kids to do. He does not want to teach them swimming, fine, I pay for classes. He does not want to prepare christmas gifts, fine, I already shop for gifts. [/quote]

Flip it on him - what does he want to do? What activities, traditions, interests does he want to cultivate in his children? These are the things they will remember him by and pass on to their children. It may not be swimming, ok, but then what is it? Ask in a collaborative, non confrontational manner and give time for it sink in and process. Sometimes people on the spectrum are overly analytical, so asking them in their framework may help to have a productive discussion. Just putting it out there. I have a spectrumy DH, it's so hard.[/quote]

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