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[quote=Anonymous]This is pretty common for ADHD (and actually not all the uncommon for NT kids).

It's generally best not to address in the moment outside of perhaps responding with a quick, "This was a choice you made" and then giving some space. Do not engage at that time. The child is feeling very overwhelmed and cannot respond appropriately. We have found that engaging in those times tends to amplify the blame and anger, and the child gets in trouble for saying things he shouldn't and feels worse.

If we give some space, he calms down. He probably knows that others are not to blame, so you might not even need to address it, unless he keeps bringing it up like he wants a respond. Then, a quick answer and moving on is best.

When you do talk about it, it is best to do it later, when he is calm and can be rational about it. Don't belabor the point. Just work together to plan for the future - "It sounds like you're frustrated with how this turned out. What do you think would make it go better next time? Can we plan ahead for a better result?" You might get a "next time you need to help me with this," but you can say, "I'm happy to help, and I can do so if you ask me to / and I can only help with finding resources, not writing your paper / etc."[/quote]

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