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[quote=Anonymous]DH has adhd and is impulsive with a history of overspending and impulsivity.  He just came home with an electric drum set for DS age 8.  DS has expressed some interest in drums bc his cousin on the west coast plays drums.  My DH said he got drums bc DS is tone deaf but loves music so "this way he will always be able to participate."
 
Meanwhile, this is the most anxiety-provoking gift for me.  In general I hate clutter, and of course there is the noise.  There are headphones but DS is already asking if "he always has to wear headphones."

My brother is an amateur jazz drummer, and he has two drum sets in his basement.  My nephew is a sweet 10 yo with limited interest in activities, so my brother really encouraged him on drums and it's been a bonding thing for them.  My nephew attends an expensive private middle school with a band program and he's able to play the drums at school.

We do have a basement, but it is not reasonable that I would spend time with DS in the basement drumming, and I know DH will not.  DS is not self-directed enough to sit in front of an app and teach himself to play, which is what DH thinks will happen.  DH said he planned to get DS lessons but they are 150-250/monthly, which is not in the budget.

DH has left the drums on our main level and ignored my request to set up in the basement.

I am SO STRESSED about all of this but recognize that my anxiety about clutter may be dominating the fun and benefit.  If anyone has tips to help make this drum situation a success I would appreciate it!

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