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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can’t tell you what to do, but I am in a similar situation — not cheating but deep betrayal that has fundamentally changed how I see my DH. We have young kids and I don’t want to punish them. We are in counseling and I also feel waves of disgust for him. Have no idea if this will ever heal to a point that it’s bearable. I believe the disgust is my unconscious trying to protect me from getting close to him.

What I’ve done is tried as much as possible to carve out a separate life within the marriage. We have a parenting schedule and he isn’t in the house when I’m with the kids. I would definitely look into renting office space so you don’t have to stay home. You can ask for what is basically (in practice) an in home separation if you feel space would help you process and give you some relief. I take trips for work or to see friends once a month, the time away is very necessary for dealing with him when I’m back. I feel he is so fundamentally manipulative and deceitful that it’s very hard to stomach much time with him. I just feel like I never knew him. [/quote]

Thank you - I'm sorry you are also going through this. Feeling like you never truly knew the person you are married to and spent a big portion of your life with is such a horrible feeling. It's exactly how I feel.

Creating a separate life of my own and finding ways to make myself happy outside of the marriage is my focus. But since I agreed to try to work through this (again, this isn't the first time I've found something out), I am trying to be civil under the same roof. It's extremely difficult and I don't see this solution lasting very long. We also both work from home 90% of the time, so the constant time together is mentally draining. [/quote]

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