Reply to How to maintain an active sex life over the decades?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Choreplay mostly doesn't work. In any case, everyone should be pulling their weight as a condition of being a functional adult in a long term relationship. Sex should not come to be viewed as something transactional.

Talking about dry spells can make them worse. They aren't always a phase, either. Sometimes the concern that your sex life won't bounce back is entirely justified.

That said, do try to take ebbs and flows in stride. Reacting badly to an ebb won't make things any better. The time to get used to talking about sex is when your sex life is good. Talk about why it is good and how to make it better (not necessarily more frequent -- frequency isn't the end-all, be-all.)

If you're in this kind of habit, hopefully: 1) it will already be well-established in both of your minds how vitally important a sex life is over the long haul; and 2) you'll already have the habit of talking about it so that discussions about any dry spells won't add counterproductive pressure to the situation.

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Choreplay" is a silly name for pulling your weight. [/quote]

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