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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are currently raising our kids in a very competitive UMC community. There’s some racial diversity but next to no socioeconomic diversity. Top 1 percent ranked public school in the national, starting price for a modest house is 1.5-2n… it’s very much a bubble.  [/quote]

I have been down your "road not taken" after two stints living in the MD suburbs in "W" school neighborhoods.

I enjoyed the more relaxed, somewhat less UMC communities that I lived in before and after my year at a "W" feeder middle school quite a long time ago.  I found there was a lot more snobbery and pointless academic pressure at that school compared to where I had come from and where I lived next after a second rapid interstate move. That experience is why I decided that I would never endorse attending "the best" schools just based on reputation.

In my 20s, I worked in DC and lived in the MD catchment area of another "W" school.  Plainly put, my husband and I couldn't figure out how to finance the life we wanted in that area so we moved away.  At the time, I would have aspired to a $450-$650K tiny colonial somewhat within walking distance to the Bethesda Metro.  These houses are now 2x-4x the price.  Could not have afforded that kind of house before grad school and would have sacrificed probably 10 years of young family life to getting financially comfortable if we had moved back to where I wanted to live.

We now live in a small suburban city far from the DMV that is much like the old Bethesda when it was mostly homey and a low rise downtown.  I absolutely love it.

The school district is considered Top 50 in the state.  It is socioeconomically diverse LMC/MC/some UMC but not very racially diverse.  However, it's much more diverse than my elementary or high school (outside the DMV).

Here have been the pros:

-Kids are able to relax and still do well, no insecurities and no tears related to competition
-Kids understand what it means to be poor and what it means to be privileged, and there is almost no bullying based on status since the richest kids are very low-key about it
-Extracurriculars are sufficient/everyone can participate/weeding out is rare
-Kids can easily be leaders

Here are the cons:

-UMC striver values are sometimes alien.  School admins and counselors don't understand why parents care so much about particular school issues.  And they are more focused on consensus and getting by in a pleasant manner than on encouraging excellence.

-Kids are sometimes bored because education is not hard enough given what local parents will accept and few subjects have ability tracking until high school.

-Kids slack because they can, and this can result in grade dips.

-Few friends can serve as role models and there is a limited choice of friends who are highly compatible.

-Some racial tensions in the schools due to the times we are living in, and precisely because it is not a homogenous UMC community.  My kids have definitely had to grapple with some uncomfortable situations that I never experienced as a child.  Don't know if that will make them more or less tolerant in the end.  I think more tolerant but also more cynical, if that makes sense.

When I talk to my friends who are in "better" districts, they also report a lot of crazy b.s. is going on in their schools.  So, I conclude the main issue for my kids in an imperfect school district really relates to not being challenged enough.  But my hypothesis has always been that college is really the best time to stretch one's self and that high school burnout is real.  So I've been playing a long game.  I will only know if my plans to protect my kids' sanity worked out once they are through college.

I have Ivy-educated parents but I'm a big believer in cost-efficiency so my household is state flagship-oriented.  I think economically we've achieved the same standard of living as my Ivy relatives except for not having pensions due to being Gen X and our career choices.  I can say that the economics of living outside the DMV has been wonderfully manageable (house, childcare, commuting, etc.).

So, I can't answer the question of whether I would raise kids in the DMV "again".  But I think on balance, I would still make the same decision to move away and raise kids elsewhere.  I just want my kids to be intelligent, happy, and well-adjusted.  It's a fair question, though, as to whether I'd shoot for a better school district in my current area if I had a do-over.  Leaning towards no, but am not firm in that conviction.  Which is why I enjoy pressing my nose to the glass that is DCUM...it's my "road not taken"!
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