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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom does this! My DD is 8 and my mom basically wants to be assigned the #1 thing on her list so she can top Santa. Except that my DD has never been really into "big gifts". The few years there have been big gifts she does ask for they've been $150 and my mom can't believe they actually cost that much, so she tells me to buy the thing on her behalf and wrap it. And then sends me a check for $50 which should "more than cover it plus you can get her something extra."

Anyway, my mom is pretty disengaged from our family and doesn't really care about the grandchildren. Her goal is to be admired for giving the perfect gift and give enough so she can pout if we don't reciprocate and give her the same volume of presents. I'm still trying to figure out the equivalent of a Barbie Dreamhouse for a 80 year old woman because that would solve all of my problems.

DD is so exhausted by my mom's insistence that she revise her list until it pleases her that she finally stuck two random toys on there and called it a day. Then she called my brother and confessed what she really wanted- a specific kind of name-brand leggings that the big girls wear at her sport. Her uncle knows that leggings would not be considered an acceptable Christmas gift by our mom so he happily bought them.[/quote]

Oh we have this issue too. My mom wants to give DD a "big" gift, but some years her list is like "I want some stickers, the new Princess in Black book, clothes for my doll, and an apron." And my mom hound me trying to figure to the "big" item that she can get her that will make her happier than any of that stuff. And it doesn't matter how much I try to explain to my mom that my kid is a child, not super materialistic, and would actually be over the moon thrilled by a big sticker book. I've also tried to explain that she's welcome to get a "big" gift that's age appropriate if she wants, like a doll house or something, but will also tell her that DD may or may not love that gift and if she goes off the list, she needs to accept that DD might not absolutely love it (she will say think you and be very polite because she has good manners, but I can't guarantee she'll play with it or lose her mind with excitement -- she might, she might not, she's her own person).

My mom has also openly stated that she is trying to buy the love of her grandchildren with gifts and she has a tendency to go way overboard with them. My kid is getting older and is starting to catch onto this and I think has a good attitude about it. Like her last birthday, my mom gave her an American Girl doll, which DD genuinely really loves and was a very nice gift. But she also gave DD a TON of other stuff, like too much and including a lot of like crappy little toys that fell apart or that DD didn't care for. And DD sort of observed that and now when she sees my mom, she says "Grammy, I love this doll you gave me so much. I play with her every day. If you had ONLY given me this doll and nothing else, I still would have been SO HAPPY." It might be dawning on my mom that she needs to chill out a bit on the gift giving and just give one nice gift. Who knows, maybe she'll just buy some clothes for the American Girl doll for Christmas (which I know is what DD really wants from her) and chill the heck out about the rest. Maybe DD will be able to get through to her in a way I have never been able to.[/quote]

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