Reply to My mother’s self-imposed loneliness?

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[quote=Anonymous]My mother, who probably has a personality disorder of some type, pushes away the people in her life with her poor behavior, and then complains about being alone.

She’s remarried but doesn’t like or get along with her husband’s children, so she makes herself scarce during holidays and get togethers, but then complains that she’s alone. She could change her behavior and get along and she wouldn’t be alone. She doesn’t see her role in her loneliness and views it as something that has happened to her.

I’m a nurse and work most holidays other than Christmas because it’s such good money it affords me the option to work less throughout the year, so I only see her at Christmas, and she acts miserable the whole time because I wasn’t at Thanksgiving, and I won’t be at Easter. It is the type of behavior that causes her to be alienated. But if you mention that, she cries and gives silent treatment.

I just got an earful about how lonely Thanksgiving was for her, how it was like “any other day”. She hid in her bedroom all day while her husband went to his son’s family dinner. She was invited, but chose not to go. How do I deal with these conversations when the other person isn’t rational?[/quote]

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