Reply to People who "go for the jugular"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do you handle people who become incredibly vicious in interactions without warning? I have no idea how to handle it and feel like I need a strategy moving forward.

I'm not a vicious person and have a pretty strong filter -- I sometimes think very uncharitable things about other people but I never say the worst things that come to mind, and I definitely don't name call or get aggressive, even when I really dislike someone. So I don't know what to do with people who just unleash. I don't want to match them tit-for-tat because that will just escalate the conflict, right? But on the other hand, if I say nothing after they've been extremely uncivil, it feels like I'm not standing up for myself.

Has anyone figured out how to deal with people who have this kind of killer instinct in disagreements? I am dealing with one right now and I don't want to get steamrolled by him but I also don't want to say or do anything I'll regret (weird that he doesn't seem to have this same desire, but it's clear he really doesn't).[/quote]
Someone who behaves this way likely has a cluster b personality disorder or is, at a minimum, emotionally immature. I am related to avperson like this and am currently on a no contact break from them because I can't control how they treat me and I don't want to sink to their level. I've been reading up on boundaries, scripts and methods to use in dealing with toxic people. It all starts with knowing your own values and self worth. From there, it looks simple enough: deflect, disengage, "grey rock", etc. I hope you find advice which helps you. [/quote]

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