Reply to What did you do about ‘fairness’ if one child’s education costs a lot more than the other’s?

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Reply to "What did you do about ‘fairness’ if one child’s education costs a lot more than the other’s?"

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[quote=Anonymous]My parents didn't address it.  But I was okay with it.  My state college was fully paid and my sister's Ivy League engineering degree was fully paid.  Though my grandparents had to chip in for hers.  Hers cost 200% more than mine.

So we both got free Bachelors' (really pay-it-forward-to-future-generations "free") and later earned our own free rides to grad school.

Graduating without debt is a gift.  We were equitably treated although not given the same $.  I teased sister a little bit because I prided myself on being the smart value/prudent spending older sister but that was it.  A lot depends on family dynamics.  My sister was grumpy anyway because our parents got stingy with money for a needed new computer because they were a bit shellshocked by Ivy prices.

Thinking back, a couple years after I graduated, my grandparents gave me a "get started in life" financial gift that I believe was the equivalent of their contribution to my sister's college.  That was appreciated, but not necessary.

There is no right answer.  Just be kind, open, and equitable. If you are later able to help more, maybe mention if you consider it a "make-up" for a prior situation.  Some kids do keep score just because that's how sibling rivalry works.

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