Reply to 82-year-old mom refuses to plan, share info, discuss

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you won't have to pay for all of this yourself! She will be eligible for Medicaid when she spends down her assets, and her condo will be exempt as long as she lives in it (even during a temporary hospitalization or rehab stay). It's okay! Take a deep breath and say "In the long term, Medicaid will cover a lot."

If your mom is truly incapacitated like cannot communicate at all, you can be appointed POA. If she's only sort of incapacitated, she can appoint you at that time. It seems like your mom's plan is to stay in her home, accepting various tradeoffs, because she really wants to stay in her home. And her plan is "When I can't manage, my adult daughter will make decisions for me." And that's not a terrible plan! You sound like the kind of adult daughter who would make really good decisions, so it's understandable that your mom would want to do it that way. Choosing not to plan = choosing to have your adult children make decisions. And that's okay! Take a deep breath and say "My mom has chosen to stay in her home, and for me to make decisions when she is unable."

I get the sense finances are a stress point for you, and suggest it might help your anxiety to set aside a little every month for these eventualities. And maybe look into a change of jobs-- not to a job you really dislike, but poke around a little and maybe you can increase your pay in a job you're happy with. [/quote]

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