Reply to 4yo just doesn’t listen!

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Reply to "4yo just doesn’t listen!"

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[quote=Anonymous]It's hard for kids to hear "don't do that, don't do this, no, no, no" all day. So there are some tricks you can learn that get what you want without constantly having to correct behavior. A few off the top of my head:

- Redirection. Instead of "don't jump on the couch" you say "hey would you like to help me strip the beds-- you can jump in the pile of sheets and pillows before I put it in the wash." It helps if you recognize what need is being met by the negative behavior (attention, exercise, rest, hunger) and redirect to a better activity that satisfies the same need.

- Explain rules. Instead of "don't jump on the couch" go sit down next to her and say "hey, have I ever told you WHY we don't want you to jump on the couch?" Kids are naturally curious and like learning about the world around them. Explain how couches are constructed and what happens when you use them like trampolines. Then next time, instead of "don't do that!" you say "hey remember what that does to the couch?" and see if she stops on her own. Knowledge is power.

- Bribes. Or as I like to call it: incentives. If you get ready for bed the first time I ask, I read an extra book.

- Routines. If you can discipline yourself to follow rock solid routines for the toughest battles, it lets them know exactly what to expect and can eliminate some battles.

It just takes time to learn. It hard at first but when you figure out what works, you discover it's much easier to do this stuff than to do the constant instructions/corrections that get ignored. Don't get me wrong-- I still instruct and correct. But I've learned to do it less, pick my battles, and have a lot more ways to get my kid to comply with my expectations than I used to.[/quote]

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