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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My in laws “surprised” us with a holiday family excursion trip to a foreign country. They already booked all the flights and hotel. They expect us to pay our own way. When we said we didn’t have the budget for it, they said that they would pay for half our flight and hotel costs. It’s still several thousand dollars that we don’t have and we are still in a lot of debt. They have also invited their other children and their families, so it is a full family affair.

We are in debt partly because of our in-laws, who insisted that we help buy them a home in a luxury development in a home that is way too large (and too expensive) for them. While we still live in a place that is too small for us, and additionally, have taken in a roommate to pay rent and cover our living costs.

We are from a culture where we are expected to financially take care of our elders and do as they ask but it’s just really taking a toll on us. How can we set some boundaries politely without blowing up the family ties? This happens almost every year and I feel like we have no choice in the matter.[/quote]

No. You let IL's know you have financial issues because you supported them in buying their property and you have no additional funds to travel.  They can either reimburse you for the property or go without you. Don't have a long drawn out conversation. No we are unable to join. End of conversation. [/quote]

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