Reply to I have a tumor, DH doesn't care. WWYD?

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Reply to "I have a tumor, DH doesn't care. WWYD?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I have a tumor that is slow growing (monitoring for 2.5 years) and that I will have to have removed in the summer. This comes after a cancer diagnosis 10 years ago and going through surgery/chemo/radiation for a year, which was a very difficult time for me/my family (my kids were young at that time, tween/teen now). These two health events are unrelated but have both happened during my marriage.

DH is checked out, is incapable of talking to me about it without the conversation becoming an argument, doesn't understand that I am practically consumed with worry thinking about this and that waiting is as hard as days I have scans and Dr. appointments. Having had a previously terrifying heath scare, even though it turned out okay, brings all of that fear back up again, plus the added stress of a new situation. I don't want to die and leave my kids without their mom.

I have told him that I wish I could talk to him about my fear, sadness and worry but if I don't raise the topic, he never does. I stopped for a while because I could tell he was getting frustrated with me (he said it's "challenging" to talk to me) and many, many months went by before I couldn't take it any longer and told him that I was disappointed and feeling very alone with this. He didn't handle that conversation well and was very angry.

I am so hurt by his indifference and don't know what to do with it.  I had never thought I would want to divorce him and although our marriage is far from perfect, he's a good husband and father in all the obvious/important ways (no infidelity, financially responsible, shares household responsibility, etc.).

I'm already seeing a therapist; DH won't go so couple's therapy is off the table.  WWYD?

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