Reply to Send Mom to nursing home?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would hope for her sake and yours thar her next fall is fatal. [/quote]
+1 I agree with this with kindness.

OP, your mother is 88, has dementia, and is clearly failing physically. You should be thinking in context of supporting her comfort until she makes a graceful exit, hopefully sooner rather than later. What is her current joy in life? Right now it’s probably just living with you and having her grandchildren around.

My dad was 90 and living in our basement when he began having mini strokes. We had an aide come during the daytime to help him in case he fell and to help with bathing. His diet was pretty much cheese pizza and water. But he was happy reading all day and knowing his family was upstairs. He had a DNR. Unfortunately he had a stroke that was severe enough to put him in the hospital but not severe enough to kill him. He had to go to a nursing home after that. They are very good at hydration and diet - his body was well taken care of, but to what purpose? He lived 6 more years parked in front of a TV, with visits from the three kids once per week, burning through his life savings, unhappy about the situation because he was DNR and this was exactly what he didn’t want for his end of life. He eventually passed from pneumonia during the winter.

My suggestion is to make the house as suitable for your mother as you can and to have an aide during the day when you aren’t there. Let her drink all the Pepsi and tea she wants. Focus on quality of life, not “health.” It’s definitely hard to manage this type of care at home, but it will likely be for a shorter amount of time than if she’s in a nursing home.[/quote]

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