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[quote=Anonymous]I am divorced and have been dating for a few years.  I find myself dividing people I date into categories that I didn't fully understand until I had been dating for a while.

1.  No connection. I don't see them again. I don't think anybody would think this is a mistake.

2.  They are attractive but I feel no real connection to them.  When I first meet them I might think I would be willing to sleep with them but it never actually happens.  I guess I'm not that kind of person.  I don't think anybody would think this is a mistake, either.

3. Strong friend connection, but little or no physical attraction on my part.  I will become friends with these people and end up hurting some of them when they become more interested in me.  I become friends with them but don't sleep with them, which is fine with most of them but makes some of them really sad.  Maybe I shouldn't do this.

4.  Strong friend connection, fun to spend time with, and some real physical attraction.  I can easily end up sleeping with these.  Usually these are pretty casual relationships.  They're usually more serious than simple friend with benefits situations but they don't involve true love or a meet-the-family level of intensity. Lately I've been doing this less because they seem to get very attached and they get hurt when things don't blossom into a very serious relationship.

5.  Really intense emotional connection, moderate physical attraction on my part.  I generally don't sleep with these. Ironically, I probably would sleep with them if I felt less of an emotional connection with them.  Realizing this has made me wonder if I'm doing something wrong.  It's like they are too good to sleep with but also not good enough to sleep with, both at the same time.  I know I sometimes cause them some pain when they feel rejected.

6.  Really intense emotional connection, plenty of physical attraction on my part.  I would like to be in an exclusive long term relationship with one of these people, but I almost never actually meet someone like this.  When I do, they seem not to be that into me for some reason.  Maybe they have commitment issues.  Maybe they lack enough physical attraction to me.  Maybe I fall into their Category 5. This is painful because the other person is usually sleeping with someone else in a more casual relationship.  I feel bad when they don't sleep with me.  I feel bad when they sleep with me but then stop or sleep with someone else too.

So I'm still single.

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