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[quote=Anonymous]I feel like you are kind of coming at this the wrong way. Your DH is struggling with his family. These things are really difficult to unentangle from. Is he open to maybe doing some individual therapy? Not to make Thanksgiving more pleasant but to get tools to manage his relationships better?

My family is difficult and I do not want to cut them off and I imagine there is a version of my husband who could write a similar post to yours. But he approaches these things with me as a team. He understands I am not ready or do not want to cut them off, he understands this is a lifelong struggle for me, and he serves as a solid teammate, backing me up in moments where he knows I'm struggling, helping to smooth the road a bit. And he complains WITH me about them, in a way that demonstrates he's fully team ME.

In other words, he's in it with me, start to finish. Dealing with family like this can honestly be really emotionally difficult and dramatic, and this reads like all about you, all about how you will experience it. I don't doubt that this is not the most enjoyable holiday experience for you, but if you want to help your DH move to a better place here, this really needs to be about how HE feels about his family and building up his confidence so he can manage the relationships better. I don't feel like this approach is likely to help long term.[/quote]

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