Reply to How to avoid traveling to in laws every thanksgiving and Xmas

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You've got to establish boundaries.  Maybe you travel every other year to the ILs.  Children are the perfect excuse to stay home.  Tell them you want to create your own family traditions at your home.  Get your DH on board, though.[/quote]

Op here. I guess that is my question- how to get DH on board. He prefers to go to in laws for several reasons 
1. They live by the beach in Florida so it feels like a mini vacation for him (doesn’t feel that way to me because I do the bulk of work with the kids, but let’s not derail the thread) 
2. In laws have big house suitable for hosting his other siblings as well, we don’t 
3. If they didn’t come to us, it would just be our immediate family which would feel lonely (kind of agree with him on this point, holidays are for family) 
4. When we go to them, they are great hosts and there is always a ton of food, house is insanely decorated and it just feels festive. We’ve never done anything like that at our place.

So he has legitimate reasons to feel this way. How do I talk him out of it? [/quote]

Easy.

You give him a choice:
A. He does all the kid-wrangling during the trip and while at his parents' house.
B. You all stay home.

Your parenting burden is VERY MUCH FRONT AND CENTER in this discussion. Because frankly, your ILs' house sounds heavenly. The only reason you're not enjoying it is that your husband's a jerk who leaves you with the actual work.
[/quote]

This.  I would love this setup but my husband handles 65% of child wrangling.   You’re not having fun because he is on vacation and you’re on a trip with young kids (which is NOT a vacation) - your experiences are so different and that’s driving the different feelings.  [/quote]

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