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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Take whatever it is back and hand it to your kid. If cousin has a tantrum, not your problem. [/quote]

This is what I'd do too. "Oh Lydia, Hannah was playing with this. Here you go Hannah." [/quote]

+1. Stand up for your kid. Don;t let the entitled cousin be indulged further-it'll just make their behavior worse. Even if they have ASD they need to learn to function appropriately in social settings and society in general.

Wth to all the suggestions to put defending herself on the 4yo? It's obvious the gparents and cousin's mother are enabling the cousin and supportive of cousin's behavior, which means they are siding with the cousin which the daughter is aware of. You don't ask a 4yo to defend themself against another 4yo and at least three adults. Don't create a doormat and bully dynamic. Those roles tend to stick. [/quote]

Yeah. This is what she is seeing and what I am seeing. And parents are enabling. For example my daughter was building with magnatiles and her cousin comes over and starts taking all the magnatiles. Then cousin starts crying because my daughter is using the only magnatile car and starts saying she needs the car and SIL/BIL turn to my kid and say “she needs the car”. Not like “wait your turn” or “she only has three magnatiles because you took all of them so maybe just let her have the car.” Or her cousin tells her she hates dressing up like a princess (something my daughter loves) and then asks my daughter to share all her princess dresses at Christmas and asks SIL to paint her nails with my daughter’s nail polish (an unopened Christmas present) and SIL does it and isn’t like “play with your own toys”. My niece has a meltdown when she doesn’t get what she wants but my daughter was so upset by the easter egg hunt from hell (where she handed over everything she found to her cousin) that she cried and wanted to leave before easter dinner and my MIL got mad at her for wanting to leave and blathered on about learning lessons (we left) while my SIL asked if her child had something to do with it. I was taught to go with the flow and be polite in someone else’s home but I’ve realized that I can’t stick to that script. I don’t want to be treated like a door mat and I don’t want that to happen to my kids. I’ve asked my husband to intervene because it’s his family (he witnessed the Easter Egg hunt thing and didn’t say anything) but he’s not always present. [/quote]

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