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[quote=Anonymous]We're looking for a private high school for our rising ninth-grader. DC has ADHD (very slow processing speed) and mild ASD. DC is excelling academically and is meh socially (not brilliant but not terrible), which I attribute in part to the small pool of friend options at her current school. To be clear: DC is socially awkward but engaged in school and wants a social life.

We hired a school consultant who specializes in neurodiverse kids. We are not on the same page with her. DC's school director (who has been placing kids like DC for years) and DC's psychiatrist/therapist (who works with lots of kids like DC) both think DC should go to a school with a balance of neurotypical and neurodiverse kids, sports, and AP classes. Their view (which I agree with) is that it will further DC's academic and social/emotional development to attend someplace like Field or McLean. School consultant is recommending boarding school (she went to boarding school) or tiny schools that that are largely comprised of neurodiverse kids and have no AP classes or sports. Essentially, she thinks everyone else is wrong, based on DC's school transcript, neuropsych report, and a 20-minute meeting with DC.

My concerns are two-fold. First, I worry that the advice she gives us as we go through the application process will be geared toward getting DC into her preferred schools, not ours. Second, I worry about how she will communicate with schools on DC's behalf. Already, when I speak to her, she emphasizes DC's quirkiness rather than DC's academic accomplishments, longtime commitment to playing a sport, incredible writing skills--i.e., DC's strengths. We don't plan to hide DC's diagnoses, but the school consultant seems to lead with them. We think they're just one aspect of DC's application.

What should I do? The school consultant is prickly. We can try to reorient her, but I worry that she'll just get resentful and will dig-in. To be clear: I am not a shrinking violet. I've raised these issues, and she she just ignores me. Should I tell her to stay behind the scenes and not communicate with schools? Should I fire her? We spent a lot of money, but I'd rather lose it then have her essentially sandbag DC at schools that everyone else thinks could be a good fit for DC. She's already contacting schools and I'm not sure what she's telling them.
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