Reply to AITStop smoking weed in the house

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here - pressed submit by accident..,

Well, going outside isn’t working for him.  My house smells like a skunky college frat house. He also is now late for work everyday and sleeps until noon on weekends.  The kids are up at 7 on the dot…they are noticing that “daddy won’t wake up.”

AITA for telling him “no more weed.” It’s not for a medical issue. He says he likes the version of himself on it.

It was cute at 22. It is not cute at 44… [/quote]

You have a infinitely worse problem than just "he's smoking in the house."

The fact you're here asking AITA is bad, OP. Bad because it means you're uncertain about this. There is no uncertainty; this is not at all about where he smokes. It's about the fact that weed is ruining your family's life. Please realize you have to be the spine for your whole household right now.

He will eventually lose his job. You have young children. Do you, alone, make enough to support them AND him and save for the kids' activities, college funds, your own retirement fund, pay the rent or mortgage, the bills, health insurance...? If your insurance is through his job, and he gets fired, goodbye health coverage for three young kids. And you.

He will eventually choose weed over his kids. They already are observant enough to know something's up with daddy. And when he IS awake, does he engage with them like he used to? Can you trust him to drive them places solo, or do you have to consider whether he's been smoking? Are you OK with being the default parent for every playdate, every school run, every activity? And HE knows that you have a child with asthma yet he smokes in the house? That's choosing weed over his kid, 100 percent.

He will eventually choose weed over your marriage. Read your own post, OP! "He says he likes the version of himself on it." Do you? Do your kids? His employer doesn't, believe me. What have you SAID to him about the lateness to work, the sleeping in, the fact the kids notice? Or have you focused on the smell and the kids' asthma? Your focus is in the wrong place. Of course he should never smoke in the house.  But this man shouldn't smoke at all, because he cannot just enjoy weed recreationally. It's affecting too much of his life.

He likely would claim he only smokes recreationally; it's perfectly legal; and "weed isn't addictive." Well, when a substance creates problems, you have a problem with the substance. Period. Get your focus off asking if YOU are the a**hole and admit to yourself that HE is the a**hole and needs help. Serious help, not being told to take it outside. Unless you're cool with his being disciplined at work, or losing his job, or your kids being disaffected from him, or you wanting to leave eventually.

Stop asking if you are somehow the problem. Weed and his choosing it over being an adult--those are the problems, OP. Wake up.

Call this number at this website: https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
Read this. Maybe first. https://nida.nih.gov/publications/research-reports/marijuana/marijuana-addictive
About 30 percent of users have some degree of marijuana use disorder. He may not be quite there yet but he's frankly a stoner again. Nip it now.[/quote]

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