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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is not much you can do. And tbf, their health care and aging in place options may be better there.

I sympathize because mine are in California and I'm in the DMV. They could easily afford to move here but dont want to leave their home and local relatives, which is understandable. I could be happy living there but the job and housing logistics don't work plus my ILs are here.
Everybody's sad that we don't see more of each other. I try to visit more often by myself (without kids, to save $). Elder care is a looming concern but they insist they'll muddle through. [/quote]

Keep in mind that if they move away from their existing friends and community to be near you, you become responsible for their social lives, helping them find doctors, etc.  It's hard to start over when you're older, so it's going to be your job to manage that.  If they don't really need the help, consider whether it's worth that tradeoff [/quote]

This is true, but in our experience, if they age poorly, especially if they become mean, their friends will fade off. That said, OP I would convince them to hire a social worker  or other professional to manage care-check on them, assess and coordinate contractors as needed and report to you. I would make sure they understand you limits of what you can do from the US and how often you can travel and that may change with your own life stressors. Down the line, when one has passed, you need to make sure you have a plan for if the other ends up in hospital. If emergencies start happening often you can't just fly in from the US. Might want to see what their plan is as morbid as it is. [/quote]

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