Reply to Loneliness when you come from dysfunctional family

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]OP here. By support system, I mean the stuff I wish I could get from family: people who will emotionally support and cheerlead when you need it, who are physically present for big events and holidays, who know about the tough stuff in your life and are on your side, and who could help out in an emergency.

The issue with our friends is that all of them have families who are already like this. Don't get me wrong, I love our friends, and the are great friends. But their own support systems are elsewhere so we can't really create the kind of "family replacement" community with them that we feel we need. It will never be equal because we need them for this stuff much more than they need us. In order to preserve good dynamics with friends, we have to operate at the level of friendship they need, which is just a lower level than what we need.

I do really appreciate my marriage and my child, but perhaps this is a function of having just one kid -- it doesn't feel like enough. I worry about us just having each other. There are not enough of us.[/quote]

OP, I also grew up in a dysfunctional family, and this really touched me. I've never been able to put the feeling into words quite as eloquently as you have. I don't have much advice.  I mainly focus on giving my kids the childhood and parental love i never had. I accept help from friends and neighbors when we need it. I go to therapy. I picture myself at an older age, hopefully surrounded by the family I've made. It helps, but nothing replaces the sense of longing and wondering what a functional family could be like. [/quote]

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