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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t have a great relationship with my mother. It’s extremely complicated. But, in short, she’s an emotionally immature narcissistic who physically, (but mostly verbally) abused me. However, we are able to have a surface level relationship with the tools I’ve learned in therapy.

Anyways, I allow her access to my daughter whenever she wants as she lives very close. I bring my now 10 month old to her house every Friday. I’ve been doing this since my daughter was about 3-4 months old. I’m a stay at home mom and I love it— it’s my calling. I really miss my daughter when she’s gone on Fridays. Part of me feels resentful for giving up this precious time, however the other half knows my mom is a better grandmother than mother and I want my daughter to have that special relationship. Do I continue to appease my mother for the sake of their relationship? I don’t want my daughter to ever think I kept her grandmother away from her. Another thing my mom does is message/text me “Pictures?” Or “FaceTime?” because she expects both every day. It’s just a lot of pressure from someone who didn’t/doesn’t treat me well, but treats my daughter well. I feel very conflicted and confused. [/quote]

You are doing the right thing. However, you are not obligated to send her pictures every day or face time every day, do it when you have time. If your mother is treating your daughter well, let them have that relationship. It is a great sign that your mother changed and learned a lot from the time you were a child until now. You should not be conflicted or confuse. People do change. Some for better, some for worse. Your mom put an effort to become a better person, you show praise her for that. [/quote]

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