Reply to Disabled spouse needs in home care but keeps firing aides

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[quote=Anonymous]I work full time. My disabled spouse is mentally competent, but needs someone with him full time (or mostly full time) for safety and to perform all the activities of daily living. he is very particular though, and even if he finds someone who suits him, sometimes he will get annoyed with her over something relatively minor and will dismiss her in a fit of pique as being unsuitable. The expectation is that I will, of course, stay home with him until a new aide can be hired.

I'm really tired of this dynamic. When I bring it up to him, he complains that he is suffering severely due to his disability and I should be more compassionate. As the well spouse, I should understand and have empathy for his plight; he shouldn't be forced to bear the burden of poor care.

It really isn't possible for me to just leave him to his own defenses if we have no aide. He is helpless - can't get out of bed or use the toilet or get food and water on his own. So he needs someone.  The next time he fires someone without getting a replacement, I really want to just let him stew in his own juices, but I don't see how I can do that. So what can I do?  He is mentally competent and arranges his own care and pays for it, so I can't just tell them he has no authority to fire them.  What can I do?[/quote]

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