Reply to I am an independent person, not just a conduit to my kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Stop telling them every time you see your parents. Problem solved.[/quote]

How do the ILs know such details in the first place?[/quote]

Little kids facetime with them and share and / or they'll facetime with DH and ask where everyone is.  In some ways it's worse we don't just flat out tell them b/c I think they're suspicious its happening way more than it actually is. I really do think my inlaws see my kids at least as much as my parents, though we go to my parents more (because they're not interested in doing short trips to us and just come visit one week or so a year).

My parents have taken one of my kids at a time for a visit and I have not allowed my inlaws to do that which also drives them crazy.  But my mom is a former teacher who is great at managing kids behavior, my inlaws let the kids run all over them and are terrified of what to do if the kid cries or says they don't want to do something. They regularly accidentally fall asleep while watching TV with my kids and they have an unsecured pool so there's just no chance my kids can safely visit them on their own until they're older.  If they asked why, I'd tell them, but instead they don't ask and are just mad at me for being "unfair"

I do try to keep these 1:1 visits off their radar but I don't ask my kids to lie about them. [/quote]

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