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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you need to have a serious tough talk with your spouse, how do you prep? Do you talk in a public place say over dinner? Do you schedule a time to talk? Do you just spill it on the spot?[/quote]

NP
Yes he tends to need a calm time but is usually always stewing.

I also record it since he has ODD and takes any comment or suggestion personally, instantly. And then starts his DARVO tactics. The original topic gets buried by his deflections and tangential accusation attempts. Bringing things back on task doesn’t work, we almost need a third party and a list maker to table all the nonsense he throws around.

Basically he has no conflict resolution skills, and would rather try to start a big side argument and further damage the relationship, than work as a team and find a sensible solution or two.

I record it to (a) see this pattern in him, (b) see if we made any progress on the topic (vacation trip, child having an issue, school decisions, elderly parent issues, income cash flow issues).

Frankly it’s psycho-ville trying to talk to him about anything real. [/quote]

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