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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here

I am 99% certain he knows it’s not ok. He has self regulation issues that he is working on in OT. We don’t do TV or desserts regularly, so there was no loss of privileges like that. Sometimes he gets a small treat if he does well at school so he didn’t get that today.[/quote]

I’m not sure what “self-regulation issues mean”.  If he has problems that he can’t fully control, that’s one thing.  For example, if he accidentally hit someone because of a seizure, Tourette’s, or even bad depth-perception, he of course shouldn’t be punished. From your earlier description, it sounds like he made a deliberate decision (however emotional he might have been) to hit the child, which means he needs to be punished so that next time he’ll be motivated to decide differently.  The loss of recess today is barely a punishment, but regardless you need to punish him.  He needs to know that YOU take this seriously, and he’ll have to face YOU regardless of where he decides to hit someone or what punishment others may or may not assign him.

TV and desserts are not the issue.  Making him unhappy enough to not want to repeat the consequence is.  If he doesn’t get TV or desserts, surely there is something he likes that you can take away or something he doesn’t like that you can give him more of.  Allowance?  Time-Out?  Favorite Toy? Family activity?  Playdate?  Chores?  Surely he has some preferences you can temporarily go against. Not giving him a reward is not enough.  This is obviously not the typical level of behavior that doesn’t merit the reward or you wouldn’t have posted.  This is apparently notably worse, so the consequence needs to be notably worse than the consequence for his normal level of less than desirable behavior.

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